Sails

For your example we say thanks for your unconditional love we give you praise and for the way you always forgive we acknowledge that you are creator and sustainer of the universe. To our heavenly father that loves deeply and forgives fully we surrender our lives to you as an appreciation for all that you do and have done.
To all the dads and granddads out there who make the world a better place. For sticking with it when it would have been easier to leave. For your endurance and strength for your patience and love. For being a role model and teaching us the right way to go. For all the elders we want to thank you on this father day.
Since I have been sick and in bed I have had a lot of time to think about my life and I have realized that a lot of the emotional damage that happens to people is because people allow it to happen to them. By your actions and responses to things you teach people how to treat you. If you allow for someone to come into your life regardless of the type of relationship you have to set the boundaries for how they will treat you and the only damage that can be done is if you allow it to be done. Again in this season of my life I am really grateful that I can now look and examine personalities and types of people before I let them into my life because this now equips me for the future so I will no next time not to let negative people come into my life. As I am getting ready to turn 25 years old I have been blessed to have some good relationships with people and some horrible ones and to all the good folks out there thank you and to all the ones who intentionally came in to set my life on fire: I survived and came out like goal.
I think we all need to ask ourselves everyday what are we doing? And why are we here? Are we wasting our lives in projects and in people that will never get better or in situations that will never change. Have we come to the cemetery and are trying to raise the dead bones. Have we come to a crossroads in our lives and need to rethink why we are here and what we are doing? Life is like living on a ocean. The waves come and move you up and down and the winds of the sea are constantly blowing in different directions… My question is have we adjusted are sails and are moving in the right direction?

Blessings…

Keep Your Head Up

I think if people are going to come into your life and lie to your soul, cheat on your emotions and abuse your identify and self worth then they should just let you know from the beginning that they had no intentions of being honest with you and that they were never looking for a relationship that was going to be self sacrificing rather they where looking to fulfill some kind of sick self fulfilling selfish fantasy and that they only wanted to get their cheap thrills off and shallow self serving ambitions. A relationship requires commitment and anytime you are thinking, pursuing or considering something with another person you need to realize that it’s not a game. Rather it is someone else’s emotions that you are taking in to consideration. I find it disgusting when people say “it was just a fling” or “it wasn’t that serious”’ who are you to come into anyone’s life and make that judgment or decision. You weren’t saying that in private conversations and personal moments. One on one you had a nickname for me and we even sang our favorite song. One on one you liked it when I held you hand and told me I might be the one. One on one you showed up and said kind words to me. And now you just walk out live your shallow self seeking happiness fleeting non courageous lifestyle. In front of the world you may appear like you have it all together. But I know you. I know that inside you are miserable, shallow, not happy and carnal. As angry as I am at you for putting on mask with me and for dealing with my heart like a game of poker I am so glad that you are gone. Because I know that your life is build on sand and eventually everything will crumble.
To all the broken hearted out there… dust your shoulders off and keep your head up. Don’t worry about that person who once was & be happy that there gone before you put a ring on it because now you know that you don’t have to spend the rest of your life dealing or associating with a back stabbing selfish cheating liar. Count your blessings and realize that God is good and he will provide for those who love him and this lesson was sent to teach you what you DON’T want.... you don’t want carnal shallow people who are only concerned with style and not substance. You don’t want a person who loves religion and not a relationship with God. You don’t want someone who is more into themselves then they are into helping people. You don’t want someone who wants a fantasy and not a real engaging life changing commitment to grow with you.
This last Sunday my “grandparents” Ernie And Johnnie Hamilton Celebrated 51 yrs of hard work, loving commitment, self sacrificing and beauty of the gospel type of marriage. This last January My grandparents Bob & Viv celebrated 50 yrs of commitment and gospel edifying marriage… this is the type of marriage I will have and I thank God that he brought me you into my life because now I know what I don’t want….
Thank all your haters and heart breakers because they only make you stronger


“You aren't going to be his 1st, his last, or his only... he’s loved before; he will love again. But if he loves you now, what else matters? He’s not perfect - you're not either. If he can make you laugh and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold on to him and give him the most you can. He’s not going to be thinking about you every moment of the day, but he will give you a part of him that he knows YOU can break - his heart. So don't hurt him, don't change him, don't analyze and don't expect ...more than he can give. Smile when he makes you happy, let him know when he makes you mad and miss him when he’s not there. Because perfect men don't exist, but there's always ONE man that is perfect for you."

In The News

Updates….

I know its been a little while since I have expressed my political views on different things and my opinions about what has been going on in the news so here we go…
Today is people in different states will be voting in primary races. Some of the hot contested races are in Arkansas between two democrats. The incumbent Blanch Lincoln in fighting for her political life because far left liberal groups are disappointed in her “centrist” ways. I would encourage ever person in Arkansas to go out and vote for Senator Lincoln because of this. When interests groups from the same political background come after you because you are NOT following everything they say and because you choose to work with the other side then you know that you are doing the right thing. Politics cannot be one sided if you’re going to make an impact and help all people. You have to give and take and Sen. Lincoln does this so I hope that she wins against these liberal characters who wont do anything but bankrupt the state of Arkansas.
Rand Paul has brought up a lot of controversy in Kentucky. Cleary as someone who is also a libertarian in many ways I like him because I think that too much government in the justice system and in our college education system has caused for many innocent people to be put in jail and also caused for the price of education in college to rise making it nearly impossible for people to get out of debt after college. I think that we have too many federal agencies putting their business in the homes of people and business. If I spank my child then that is abuse and I could go to jail. If I want to go to a restaurant and eat my food and smoke a cigarette then I am infringing on the rights of others. If I am sick in my body and I want to have a medical doctor assist in ending my life I can’t. These government agencies are doing more harm than good. I don’t have a problem with government. We need it to set rules, regulations and to keep laws. But when laws cripple the innocent, then we have a problem. And what people don’t understand is it is not the financial hurt that kills people it is the emotional pain that destroys a person. Emotional pain can leave a person damaged good and ineffective for service.
The Oil spill in the gulf is a nightmare. I have always been against the notion “drill baby drill” because it is irresponsible to drill in places where tourist come to and also where people make their daily living from. There are so many others ways that we can get away from our dependence on foreign oil without drilling. We saw this twenty something years ago in Alaska where the same thing happened. Just like I was outraged over the criticism of George Bush when it came to Hurricane Katrina I am just as outraged when it comes to the criticism of Obama. What do people want him to do. Go get some tape get in a wet suit and jump in the ocean and plug it up himself. This notion that he can do anymore than he is doing is outrageous. The notion that he is not showing more “emotion & anger” is crazy as well. He is constantly coming up with plans and in truth BP should be the ones to fix it. The reality is we should have never been drilling that far down and in the area of the gulf. We all need to stop pointing fingers and find a way to plug the hole and start the clean up now. BP should pay for EVERYTHING. And we should outlaw these practices of unsafe drilling.
Jobs aren’t coming back. Small businesses aren’t hiring. People with college degrees are having a VERY difficult time getting jobs and finding employment. I don’t know what the solution is but I know that if Obama does not figure this out soon. Health care, the oil spill and the wars won’t be his problem. It will be jobs. He has to cut taxes for small business and give them incentives to hire because we, the hard working American people who want to work are having a HORRIBLE time finding jobs.

In The Morning

The last few weeks have been crazy… things would seem so much easier if my heart would listen to my mind… I need to make a lot of changes. I need to remind myself of my core values and convictions… Who I am and what I believe and from that I act not acting on anger or disappointment or even the unknown but on the fact that this is what I know for sure.. My convictions the things that cannot be changed or swayed… in acting in anger and disappointment I have let myself down… Here is the thing just because someone else shows bad character and does not act responsible or loving does not mean that you need to react or lower yourself to those people’s standards… I was thinking about this the other day and I found myself needing to reexamine things… Why is it that when people lie, cheat, act ungodly and do intentional horrible things to us… we have to get mad at them first & hate them in order to forgive them? Why is it that we have to be mad in order to forgive? I have realized that when someone has betrayed me intentionally I have to hate them before I can let go… this I pray will change because I refuse to any longer let someone who has acted horribly and ugly dictate me.
In the grand scheme of things life is not so bad… actually a relief that things happened and are moving forward because what it teaches you is that everyone can’t be trusted and even people who “appear” to be on the same page as you and say that they want the same things as you aren’t really that way. When someone shows you who they are believe them the 1st time… don’t sit around and hope that they will change or expect better from them life is too short to have your heart, time and money wasted on people who don’t love you like you deserve. Whether it is a relationship, friendship or even blood family member refuse to have people steal your joy and determine how you should be. You can’t make others decisions so you shouldn’t let other people make yours. When someone, whoever that person is, walks out of your life… send them a thank you letter because they have now just released you into your greatest potential… don’t harbor hate, bitterness or anger… instead expect all good things from Christ and knowing him in is glory and suffering… what is transitional when it comes to all people, regardless of a person’s beliefs is this: we all stumble but we all must choose to be survivors.. when life gives you lemons count your blessings that at least you made it out alive and can see another day coming…. I have experienced this moment… intentionally hurt to the core… But now I will choose to forgive, move on and get stronger… For this lessons I will never forget and will always be blessed that God is Able to keep my Joy centered in him… Cry for a little bit… But remember the choose is yours don’t let anyone who sets out to do evil to you determine the kind of reaction you will have…

Fight For Me O God

In the midst of walking in the rain I hear your voice that says be still and know that I am God. At the bottom of the glass I find my realization that you are more than what I ever could have wanted. In Christ I have placed my joy. Not my works or my reputation because all of these things are tainted and full of emptiness and pain that this life has handed me but rather my joy is in the hope that my savior rules and reigns. I will not let you win Satan. I will fight and pray for what is mine. God has promised and He is faithful so I will sit in silence and wait upon the Lord and pray “thy will be done”.
I have way to much to do and way to much to get done. I have learned my lesson never take this many grad courses in one semester. I am being eaten alive and tortured due to the failure of my own planning.
I long for heaven today. I long for that place I have been created for. I decided along time ago not to live for other people or what other people say I should be. Because I am black I should love Obama, I love him in the since I am proud of him, but he is not a leader that I look up to. I look to leaders like Colin Powell, Dr. King, and Dorothy Height… people who carved out their own paths and insisted on facts and fellowship. Because I am a Christian I should “act” a certain way or believe certain things about views…. Well I don’t. I am not a stereotype. Because I am black & young should I have a baby? Because I am a male should I sleep around? Don’t define me; don’t put me in a box. Freedom screams through my aching bones, because I refuse to categorize. I am a free man. I am free to think the way I choose and to feel the way I feel. To love the color of any woman I want and to vote for whomever I want to and to say No to whatever I feel and Yes to whatever I want to. I will not fit into your box and follow your rules. I am a free man and because of those who went before me who fought for my freedom I will cry out and march to the beat of my own drum. I will not let you define me.
Every now and then I fall apart, I don’t make sense, I get mad, I sleep all day. Every now in then I just don’t want to figure it out or desire to do it. I just want a break. Every now and then I choose to give up and every now and then I lock myself away and breath. I am not a slave and I will not be treated like one.
I am patiently waiting for you to join me in this journey. Pressure off. Figure yourself out. Pray. Seek God. Find closer. Know that I am waiting and praying. I am not asking you when and you don’t have to give me a date, just promise me that sometime soon you will make it here.
Granny its been five months and this will be the first Mothers Day without you. But I am happy that you are celebrating it with your mother because I know she passed when you where really young. For that I am happy for you. Give Grandmother Wille Mae a hug for me and tell her I am still tall but not so lanky any more. Tell my Grandma Margret that I miss her and I hope she enjoyed the other day when I stopped by to see her. I looked for your grave site, but I couldn’t find it but I know that you knew I was there; you’re the longest person I have ever loved so maybe that’s why its so hard to believe that your still not here…
My Goal in life is to love God because if I do that then everything else will be ok…..

"Fight for us, O God, that we not drift numb and blind and foolish into vain and empty excitements. Life is too short, too precious, too painful to waste on worldly bubbles that burst. Heaven is too great, hell is too horrible, eternity is too long that we should putter around on the porch of eternity."

Here I am.....

In all of this I am finding myself at a lost for words and yet I am found, solid and comfortable. This is paradise; home is where the heart is and I have arrived timidly at home. Cautious, brave, encouraged and full of fear; yet I have arrived. Sitting at the table staring at you- gently tenderly holding my hand out waiting for you to come and sit with me; holding my breath but confident that you will come in the right time, your time, God’s time- you will come and sit with me.
School is going well. We have a few weeks left. I am trying to get all of my papers, projects and studying done. I need to focus a little more intensely. Give up some sleep to gain more, it will be worth it- so I shall buckle down. Fight on and encourage myself in your word. I am happy for my close friends many of them in KY are full of joy; in this moment my love is extended to Derek and Whit; they are indeed closer than a brother. Ashley is getting married on Friday. We have been together since six grade, and I have loved her like my sister and now to see her dreams come true I am indeed blessed to witness this; Jake I love you and am happy that God brought you and Ashley together.
Church is well; college ministry is hard- really hard- but watching God move has blessed me; I am blessed to still be allowed to serve in His kingdom. Great pastor, great church- Great God!!! Michael Richardson has become my brother. Never would I had of thought that I would meet such a faithful and loving servant of the Lord; he helped me to cross the bridge to success- eternally grateful I am indebted to him forever.
I still miss my granny gran everyday. She new that I loved her and I know she loved me. She is in heaven dancing with her father God in fields of grace. I miss her, but I am glad for her and I know that she is finally where she always told us she wanted to be.
Focus focus focus; concentrate; buckle down and move. Be the person I was born to be. Walk in the victory that God has called me to at the cross of Christ. These things need to be branded on my heart, mind and soul for the next few months. Count it all joy is what I need to shout to myself in the times when I don’t want to get out of bed. Take care of myself and move forward. Don’t slack, lack or complain. Move get up and move. Go to God in Christ Jesus and move in His Holy Spirit. These things I will say to myself.
My goal in life is to do one thing: Love God- because in this I will be alright….

Hero

A New Kind of Hero

by Max Lucado

I am the good shepherd. I know my sheep as the Father knows me. ~ John 10:14–15

BEHOLD A HERO of the west: the cowboy.

A thousand head of cattle pass behind him. A thousand miles of trail lie before him. A thousand women would love to hold him. But none do. None will. He lives to drive cattle, and he drives cattle to live. He is honest in poker and quick with a gun. Hard riding. Slow talking. His best friend is his horse, and his strength is his grit.

He needs no one. He is a cowboy. The American hero.

Behold a hero in the Bible: the shepherd.

On the surface he appears similar to the cowboy. He, too, is rugged. He sleeps where the jackals howl and works where the wolves prowl. Never off duty. Always alert. Like the cowboy, he makes his roof the stars and the pasture his home.
But that is where the similarities end.

The shepherd loves his sheep. It’s not that the cowboy doesn’t appreciate the cow; it’s just that he doesn’t know the animal. He doesn’t even want to. Have you ever seen a picture of a cowboy caressing a cow? Have you ever seen a shepherd caring for a sheep? Why the difference?

Simple. The cowboy leads the cow to slaughter. The shepherd leads the sheep to be shorn. The cowboy wants the meat of the cow. The shepherd wants the wool of the sheep. And so they treat the animals differently.

The cowboy drives the cattle. The shepherd leads the sheep.

A herd has a dozen cowboys. A flock has one shepherd.

The cowboy wrestles, brands, herds, and ropes. The shepherd leads, guides, feeds, and anoints.

The cowboy knows the name of the trail hands. The shepherd knows the name of the sheep.

The cowboy whoops and hollers at the cows. The shepherd calls each sheep by name.

Aren’t we glad Christ didn’t call himself the Good Cowboy? But some do perceive God that way. A hard-faced, square-jawed ranch- hand from heaven who drives his church against its will to places it doesn’t want to go.

But that’s a wrong image. Jesus called himself the Good Shepherd. The Shepherd who knows his sheep by name and lays down his life for them. The Shepherd who protects, provides, and possesses his sheep. The Bible is replete with this picture of God.

Eighty percent of Jesus’ listeners made their living off of the land. Many were shepherds. They lived on the mesa with the sheep. No flock ever grazed without a shepherd, and no shepherd was ever off duty. When sheep wandered, the shepherd found them. When they fell, he carried them. When they were hurt, he healed them.

Sheep aren’t smart. They tend to wander into running creeks for water, then their wool grows heavy and they drown. They need a shepherd to lead them to “calm water” (Ps. 23:2). They have no natural defense—no claws, no horns, no fangs. They are helpless. Sheep need a shepherd with a “rod and … walking stick” (Ps. 23:4) to protect them. They have no sense of direction. They need someone to lead them “on paths that are right” (Ps. 23:3).

So do we. We, too, tend to be swept away by waters we should have avoided. We have no defense against the evil lion who prowls about seeking who he might devour. We, too, get lost. “We all have wandered away like sheep; each of us has gone his own way” (Isa. 53:6).

We don’t need a cowboy to herd us; we need a shepherd to care for us and to guide us.

He’s not a cowboy, and we aren’t cattle. He doesn’t brand us, and we’re not on the way to the market. He guides, feeds, and anoints. And Word has it that he won’t quit until we reach the homeland.