“Alone Before Him I Could Not Defend My Utter Lack Of Faith”
When I think about Jesus Christ and his role in life as the
perfect one God and savior and his ability to change everything in my life and
around me it makes me just scream at myself and cry even harder in dust and
ashes over my pain. I find myself loosing my breath in the AWE of who he is and
what he as accomplished to do in the hearts and minds of his chosen children.
When I was in full time Christian ministry at different churches I always
wanted to be the best in my lane and that was Christian education. I wanted to
be the best debater and arguer for my points. But the more I have lived and
fallen and experienced life in its raw and unforgiving way the more I know my
calling in life is just to get people to Jesus. If following all the Christian rules
is a prerequisite to getting into heaven I know that heaven will be empty. So my
mission is just to get people to Jesus. I don’t care about you affiliations with
whatever group you consider yourself to be in. I just want people to experience
the relationship that Jesus Christ offers them personally on an individual
basis. Every person ought to know this kind of love and experience this kind of
grace in their lives and hearts. All of us on the playing field are guilty
prisoners to something that controls apart of our existences but in Christ you
can be unconditionally loved. I have seen so many of my family members and
friends chase after lofty empty love that has no eternal foundation and end up
emotionally bankrupted. I have been there many times chasing after moments of
happiness that when they came they didn’t fulfill my expectations. But every
time I have been with Jesus whole heartedly I recognize in that moment if I am obedient
to his perfect will he will walk with me along the entire journey that I am
facing. I am not saying in the physical it always works out the way I want it
to but what I can say with confidence is that it will all make sense one day
when I see Jesus for myself. I encourage you no matter what your place is in
life or what other people have told you about yourself just go to Jesus and
experience him for yourself. He alone will make all the difference.
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