Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Psalms 119:33-40

Have you ever meet one of those people that always refer to a movie when it comes to different situations in life? Whether it is the movie: dumb and dumber, Brave Heart, The Godfathers ext. Well I am one of those people… I like to call myself a story teller. Lately I must confess to you that I have been feeling like Ouiser Boudreaux from the movie, Steel Magnolias. I love the group of friends God has blessed me with, they are all good for me. I am in a good place with myself right now. But it seems that I cant get out of the “crabby” state. Honestly I am seeking to be a kinder and nicer person. I am really long to try an be nicer an try to get along with everyone, but it always seems like no matter what is going on I end up being a horrible person. I am truly blessed. And I am truly happy. So why am I so crabby? What else could I want? What else do I need? I have a pretty good life and yet I am envious, jealous and critical. Johnny Hunt, our SBC president, came and spoke in chapel today and to be honest I was bias when he came because of his position. It was great and God has been working on my heart these last few days, so the soil of my heart was moist and ready to receive the seed of the word. My Pastor was close friends with Rev Winters, the pastor that was killed in Illinois, and he sent me an email the other day and at the end of the email it says “Live everyday for the glory of God”. The reason that this touched me so much and yes my pastor has said this to me a million times, is because I knew that he meant it. I knew that he wanted me to live my life to glorify God everyday because no one knows the time or moment when it will be over and in glorifying God my mistakes will be less and my blessing will be more and my attitude can change because I am known to be so pessimistic. So when Pastor Hunt came and spoke today my heart was just pierced. He spoke from Psalms 119:33-40 and the one thing that he talked about that got to me was that the psalmist says that he wants the Lord to teach him the ways of His statues before he even knows the promise of God. This man submits to God before God even reveals the plan. We are not like that at all. We pray for God to reveal to us His plans only for us then to DECIDE wither or not we will make the commitment. That’s me totally. I want God to show me His plan for my life, because I want to decide or not if I will go. The fact is I want to go and make my own plans: go back to Louisville, go intern for the White House, Church planting in Canada, get married ext. but maybe God has not called me to ANY of this!!! I want to make my own plans and then ask God to bless them, instead of walking in the blessing of God that has already preordained for me. I pray for myself and I pray for you we will all get on God’s page and not seek for God to get on our page. Psalm 119:36 ‘Incline my heart to your testimonies and not to selfish gain”. After hearing this verse and this sermon I felt like a horrible person. I felt like Ouiser Boudreaux. I felt like the worst person in the world. I am blessed, and yet I act miserable and God has given me himself, good people around me, and I get to hear Him and know Him better. And he has chosen me to be saved, separated me for His ministry and Loved me in spite of how horrible and crabby I am. “God I want to follow you no matter what the journey holds”- let that be the prayer of my heart and let it be true!!

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