I started this year off full of excitement and joy about moving to a new city and having a new job and being closer to my ride or die Ms. Belcher. I was over joyed to be making good money and to walk into a fresh new environment but several weeks I realized that I had been fooled and been kissed by Judas, so in good form as always I readjusted got a new job stayed kind even though I had seen what was behind the veil and continued on even offering my support to my replacements while hinting to them to run as fast as they could. I created exactly what I wanted nice home, peace of mind, NO OBLIGATION, heading in the right way finically, great job and even though my friends were a little far away instead of adjusting closer to them I allowed misery to stay my normal and for loneliness to creep in and then BAM, the unexpected happened. Sovereignty, God’s facts, God’s promises, God’s word, God’s truth, It is finished, absolutes, alpha and omega- all the core principles of my being in who I am were silenced because my grandpa had a stroke. Four months later I still can’t tell you what that did to me in that moment. While I know I am loved by friends and family there is something about this man, this figure, this being in my life. He represents a truth, solidarity, a principle: He represents good. Not celebrity good, or glamour good, or swag good but purity good. Not sacrificial, not applaudable, not notable, not recognizable, not acknowledgement just good. I don’t know of any other person like this. I wanted to grieve alone, in silence, in my own way not feeling the pain, not being bothered not running or hiding just my own escape to deal with what I needed to get, and I couldn’t even grieve alone. I’ve learned even more how alone I am, I knew I was to myself just me and God but this definitely seals the deal. For if a man can’t even grieve alone there must not be any place to lay his head in silence. So from here I examine my surroundings and I look at those who call my name, don’t come for the party if you cant stay for the silence. Now that I am back to me I will still grieve by setting up boundaries because once again the fundamental fact is that trust is a place, emotion, feeling, journey that is only reserved for God because no man can walk down that road with you…. #LoveYourselfFirst
Saturday, May 30, 2015
I have decided to remove the word hypocrite from my vocabulary because I believe that we are all a work in progress because we are all constantly changing, improving and rearranging who we are. People are the ones who try to put labels on us and tell us how we should function and fit and operate. It really does bind us up not to explore our inner selves and be free to walk in whatever we feel comfortable at the time. Don’t take on the dogma that you can’t be flexible with even in your own being and your own soul. Know that life is not about being tied down to one thing or one conviction but instead the beauty in the journey is to openly admit that you don’t have it all together and you probably never will be for each experience and growth you can be ok with being whoever you are whenever you are and at whatever place you’re at without explaining yourself to anyone. It’s your process and it’s your journey and not everyone can accept you on every level you are and that is ok. Be ok with not everything being ok and at the same time trust the process of life because what I know for sure is that nothing in life stays the same and most of the time it even gets better. Love Jesus with your whole soul and let everything else fall into place... #BeGoodToYourself
Sunday, May 17, 2015
Being stuck in a mindset or a flow that isn't
Monday, May 11, 2015
It’s been a while since I have sat down and wrote anything because I have been so busy and really words haven’t come together in the correct sentences that I would have liked in order to rise from the pages and communicate my thoughts. I had to walk through some personal pain and just get through it every day by choosing not to have regret but rather to say, believe and receive this statement: All things are lessons that God would have us to learn regardless if they come to us uninvited or if we invite ourselves into uninvited places. The hardest part about being a teacher when it comes to anything but especially when it comes to spiritual issues is that you are required to live what you teach and to believe that what your saying is not just some get by quote that will make you feel better but rather it is absolute truth with an unchanging depth of honesty and reward.
I’m learning so much right now in my life and as I continue to step forward, move forward and embrace what I want to define me I am flowing in a rhythm unapologetically and without excuses. If it happens regardless of how it feels in the moment I say to myself “What is this here for” recognizing that there is a lesson in everything even if the lesson is to teach you disappointment from others behaviors. I am now trying to condition myself to pray for their depravity rather than allowing it to create bitterness in me. At the cross of Jesus we all die to everything about ourselves: Our views, our perspectives and most importantly our egos. What we want and think must die at the cross of Jesus in order for us to live. People may be able to try to make your physical comfort uncomfortable but remember no one can get in your mind. Your mind is where your imagination is allowed to be free and where your dreams are allowed to live fully without limitations. People, situations and life may try to break you down but remember all things are lessons that God would have you to learn. #BeGoodToYourself
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
Galatians 6:9 ..And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up…
Trusting in Jesus Christ understanding for your life may be one of the hardest journeys anyone of us must face especially when we are taking the first step down a new road of letting go and turning the unknown over to God. We have held on so long and it’s been so familiar that even in our moving forward or wanting to move forward we find ourselves nervous, anxious, worried or heartbroken over the thing that has caused us a lot of pain, misery and regret because the essence of our souls cry out to make or hope or want that thing to work out. We look directly at it and we know that it can’t work because the weight of carrying the load any further just might kill us but we know that if we walk away the lack of control that the other person, idea, movement, experience or feeling will die and collapse within itself. Here’s the truth: there’s no easy answers to putting our pain in recovery and moving forward. It’s going to hurt like hell, it’s going to make you cry, it’s going to knock you to the floor and many days you’re not going to want to go on because the dream you wished for so bad didn’t work out. While you will always have the scar of that ‘thing’ and while it’s hard to sit back and watch it die, move on or not be attached to you anymore know that your assignment in life isn’t over and you can dream again. I think the key in the early days is just to take it moment by moment without causing yourself anymore damage. The thing that was unhealthy that was a part of your co- dependency needs to be replaced with something that is healthy while you work through the entire process of letting it go and trusting God fully. Remember not being obedient to God is a sin, so if this thing in your life is not the perfect will of God in your life then you are being disobedient and if that’s the case then how will you ever know what real joy is and wouldn’t it be a tragedy to live your whole life and miss out on the very best that God has for you. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy at all, but let your obsession be redirected to your relationship with God rather than keeping it in the thing that you constantly have to question. Remember you gave it your all. Just like there are no guarantees in life, you can’t have any regrets because you played to win.
Friday, February 27, 2015
James 1:12 “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life which God has promised to those who love him”
The letter of James in the New Testament is popularly known as the “Proverbs of the New Testament” because the book has practical, biblical, and Holy Spirit inspired wisdom that is given to the believers in order that they may hold fast and true to the glorification of the gospel of Jesus Christ. This letter is an early testament and could probably be argued as written within a decade after the ascension of the messiah. James encourages us in many biblical ways: to control our tongue, submit to God’s will, and have patience and to live an authentic life for Christ. As the biological younger brother of Jesus he wants the reader to understand that to live for Christ is a wise decision and to stay active in your faith will produce spiritual fruits and will demonstrate your faith in action.
What we see in James 1:12 is that there are key fundamental biblical principles for the Christian walk that James breaks down for a person who is walking their own journey of Christian faith and also for the church at large as we walk together as brothers and sisters in Christ. First he says that the person who remains steadfast under trail will be blessed because that person refused to give up or be dismayed in the journey but rather kept their eyes and focus on Jesus Christ. See here is the thing as believers in the road of faith it will get difficult, impossible and the journey will a lot of times seem and feel like you’re on the wrong road but in those moments we must learn to fully trust the moving of the Holy Spirit to do his job and so when we are under trial we need to remain in the trust of Jesus’ care so we can be blessed. What we need understand fully is that being blessed may come during and from suffering but it will always result in the glorification of the Gospel and for our own personal good because Jesus can do anything but lie so if he tells us that if we remain steadfast we will be blessed then we must be willing to believe God even when it doesn’t feel or look that way.
The second part of this verse is key to because it gives us a bigger picture and it helps us as believers to look forward to heaven and our reward for the weary road of faith and it gives us assurance that what we endure will not be in vain. Listen faith is hard because you’re believing things that seem and look impossible but we have to be willing to trust the Holy Spirit. If you love Him, Jesus Christ, then we must be willing to give 100% as believers regardless of the results and you must know as a conviction in your personal self-constitution that NOTHING you do for the Lord is in vain.
My hope for you as you read this is first and foremost you would get over yourself and you would learn to die to your own personal gains in order to fully embrace and enjoy your service to the Lord because He alone has great plans for you as you grow and serve Him, you will love and know Him more and in that you will find personal fulfillment and joy. When we do that in our individual lives it will help us in our church lives because once we all realize that the only CEO is Jesus and that before Him we all are fully guilty then we will all be willing to work together and realize were all on the same team instead of working against one another. Your only calling in life is to make Jesus famous and if you get out of that lane then you will find yourself in a lot more trouble than you think. #MakeJesusFamous
Thursday, February 19, 2015
2 Corinthians 4:5 “For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake.”
As the apostle Paul continues his writing of the book of Corinthians he is facing several challenges in his ministry so he urges the church to be “unified” with him in his ministry because the opponents of the gospel were undermining his work claiming that his suffering proved he was not a true apostle. They didn’t understand that his suffering was a reflection of the gospel being glorified because every time Paul was persecuted he looked to Jesus Christ as his only help admitting, confessing and leaning on Him for total dependency.
Paul dedicates and emphasizes chapter four with a theme of unity throughout the sentences. He wants the church to understand basic Christian principles when it comes to ministry because he does not want people to get distracted by foolishness, pride, control or selfish behavior because he knows that pride comes before the fall and that anytime anyone takes credit for something done rather than giving Jesus all the glory then slowly the life will be sucked out of that ministry until the strong hands of wickedness choke and kill the dream that best proclaims the gospel.
“For what we proclaim is not ourselves”- in this statement here alone we need to note that all people are equal when it comes to ministry because everyone now knows that the work has nothing to do with them personally but everything to do with Jesus Christ alone and that nothing: no credit, no positions, no roles, ABSOLUTLEY NOTHING has to do with anyone but Jesus Christ. This is the vision statement so people are not confused on what the goal is because the only goal in any ministry that is biblical is to preach and proclaim Jesus Christ thus allowing the people to die to themselves and their ideas and to focus all the glory on Jesus Christ.
“With ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake”- as slaves and bondservants to the master, king, ruler and CEO of sovereignty we now confess and make it a part of our makeup as a person and put the foundation of our convictions and self-constitution as willing, obedient and joyous slaves to Christ in serving in ministry. We understand that we owe God everything and that without him we are nothing and in that we are satisfied with whatever and however he decides to focus his ministry. We lean on him for total control and we refuse to get caught up in the confusion and works of the devil through disobediences, pride, selfishness, slander and malice because all of that will lead to an end in the blessing of the ministry of the Church that he has called all sanctified believers to follow.The bottom line is this once you get past the theological unfolding of terms, phrases and meanings the apostle wants the church to come fully together and be totally unified on every level because he knows that it is so easy to get distracted because every people is totally depraved and the depravity of each person’s life has the chance to show up and fall in line with the wickedness of the devil and take focus off of giving Jesus Christ the glory. So from the beginning he says get over yourselves, its not about you, its all about Christ and His glory. So if your going to sign up to be a billboard for Jesus understand that your imperfections may cause you the war if you allow them to while fighting the battle so understand the depth of your depravity and when you see your ego rising up bleed the blood of Jesus over yourself so you don’t allow yourself to get in the way of bringing all the glory to Jesus Christ alone. #BeGoodToYourself
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
At a certain point in life and maybe it’s several times in our lives we find ourselves pushing through an emotional issue that seems to have left us helpless in our feelings. The moment when you gave it all over and over again and you still saw no sign of life. In fact many times over you gave up your own life and happiness and allowed that to change the very nature of who you were; the unsecure pain of emotionless love left you lifeless, sullied, and damaged good. You discovered that your pride wasn’t as strong as you assumed and the walls of your strength weren’t as solid as you thought. Your teachings, writings and advice all came into your life to instruct you and you failed your own test. You were challenged at your core and instead of taking ALL of the lessons into effect you only brought one tool into battle because you now know you really didn’t want to see the truth. It’s hard when you have to admit to yourself that you didn’t want to see the truth because the distraction of the moment was keeping you from facing what was really going on inside of you and now you have to deal with the broken pieces of that course and the core of the sadness of the self-imposed betrayal. The only thing that I think you can do as you battle your new view of sadness because you will grieve the loss is give it time and give yourself time to heal. And as you walk through the valley of the shadow death call be honest with God and yourself as you turn over each new leaf so you won’t have to repeat the same mistakes again. Remember pain, regret, guilt and sadness are all apart of living and you’re not the first person to travel those roads and you won’t be the last to say “why did I do that”; but you can say to yourself “I will never do that again”….. Relax, Pray and Hope for the best… #BeGoodToYourself
Thursday, February 12, 2015
Around 85 A.D. the apostle John writes a compelling book because he was convinced that people needed to believe in Jesus Christ. His own personal experiences, life lessons, struggles and joys had been a direct result of surviving through His personal relationship to Jesus Christ and the dedication he had to the ministry. His personal self-constitution was that Jesus Christ was the messiah and that ALL people needed to come to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. An aspect of what John points out throughout his writings are the miracles of Jesus Christ and how he saw Him give people who were utterly hopeless confidence, grace, mercy and encouragement.
In chapter nine of the gospel of John we encounter one of my personal favorite stories of how Jesus interacted with his disciples and the people around him. Jesus and his disciples come upon a man who was born blind, and in spiritual ignorance the disciples ask Jesus a very interesting question; “Who sinned, this man or his parents that he was born blind”. Well note that the man was born blind so the answer to that question would clearly be his parents if the question had any validity at all. But what makes this story so interesting is two important factors: Jesus’ answer and the man’s response.
Jesus tells His disciples that it was not sin that caused for this man to be born blind; to live his life blind and to have the effects of a cruel world treat him poorly because he was blind but rather that the WORKS OF GOD might be displayed in him. Jesus is answering the “Why” question in this man’s life so that we who are still here and reading about this story centuries later can apply it to our own lives. The reason his suffering was attributed to his life was so that God may show himself to be real. So every time we sit around and wonder “Why God is this happening to me” we can know that somehow and some way it will be used for the glory of God if we are open to it, accept it and then appreciate it.
To make a long story short the man was healed by Jesus in a unique way. Jesus spat on the ground and made mud with the saliva then he anointed the man’s eyes and told him to go to the river and wash his face and he would be healed. Jesus always has a unique, personal and specific way of doing the impossible in our lives if we are willing and open to it. After the religious leaders heard what had happened they begin to question the man and what had happened to him as if something was wrong because his healing took place on the Sabbath day when according to the law nothing was supposed to be done on that day. The zealous religious leaders had questioned the man and his parents and insisted on trying to make Jesus out to be a sinner but the second time that the asked the healed man to recount what had happened the man gives the most beautiful answer to their question that is wrapped up in powerful theology and personal reflection that we all can learn from. He says listen I don’t know why your questioning me again and I don’t know if this man Jesus is a sinner or not all I know is that my whole life I haven’t been able to see anything. I have been an outcast and I have missed out on seeing anything from the colors of the world to the faces of my family and now I can see, so call him a sinner or whatever you want to call him but I am healed and only Jesus Christ could do that.At the basis of who we all are outside of the labels we identify in is broken sinners. We all have a part of us that is broken. We all have a chapter in our story that we wish didn’t take place but it happened. We all need a healing. We all need to be forgiven, loved, accepted and wanted. When Jesus meet this man and healed his sight that’s what he gave him. It was more than just opening his eyes it was loving his soul. Whatever it is today that your going
Monday, January 26, 2015
A lot of times we get thrown or place ourselves into situations that are challenging because what God is trying to do in us is bigger than ourselves. We are always looking for temporary pleasures in the flesh when God is instructing us to do, see, learn and feel more. What I know for sure is that each moment or season of life might not be joyful and at the same time might not be sad but yet it can be a blessing. So look around and observe what you’re supposed to and take the lessons that will increase your faith, experience and life. #AllThingsAreLessonsGodWantsUsToLearn
Monday, January 19, 2015
Decisions are not always easy to make even when you have walked down that road before. Even when you have the facts, the truth and the pro’s vs. con’s list written out because for all of us if were honest there are some decisions that can only be understood by the heart and not explained from the mind. Its especially hard when you have to decide between bad and worse or happy and settled when deep down inside you want to hold out for joy. But what gets you to this place in the first place is you stop believing that it will ever come your way so you take the next best thing: happiness over joy. Pretending like your happy can be just as detrimental to yourself as emotional abuse because you are hiding behind a made up lie that you have allowed to take root in your mind. But then what if this thing can turn into something awesome, while you desire natural courses to take place, you have never been afraid of a little hard work. It’s a tough spot to be in and why you want to make all the right decisions, sometimes you just don’t know. I wish I had better advise for you today but all I can say is pray about it and you will know when you know and when that happens listen. #BeGoodToYourself