Thursday, December 23, 2010

everything you need to live


“For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given; and the government will be upon His shoulder...”
(Isaiah 9:6a, NKJ)
When Jesus came to earth, He brought with Him everything you need to live a life of victory. He came as a little baby, but He was empowered with all authority in heaven and earth. When you make Him your Lord and Savior, He gives you access to all of His resources. You have access to His peace, power, authority, provision, joy and strength. He brought all of this “unto us” when He came to earth. Unto us a child is born...unto us victory is given. Unto us peace is given. Unto us provision is given. Unto us hope and healing are given. Unto us eternal life is given!

Whatever you may have need of today, remember, when Jesus came into the world, He made a way for every one of your needs to be met spiritually, emotionally and physically. Surrender your life to Him and receive all the spiritual blessings He has in store for you!


Father in heaven, thank You for sending Your Son, Jesus, so that I could be free to live an abundant life in You. I receive unto me everything You came to give. Fill me with Your love and show me Your ways so that I can know You more. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

A Faithful Love

“The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning”
(Lamentations 3:22–23, NLT)

Isn’t it good to know that no matter what happened yesterday, no matter what you said, no matter what you did, God’s mercy is new for you today? Mercy is empowering. It frees us to make the right choices and live in a way that is pleasing to God. We have to always remember that God is not condemning us. Romans tells us that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ. God wants to love us and equip us to overcome in this life.

Do you need new mercy today? Receive it by faith. You don’t have to beg God to forgive you. He forgives you the first time you ask, but it’s up to you to receive that forgiveness. Open your heart today and receive His mercy. Let Him wash over you with His peace and joy. Then choose to extend that mercy to others. Remember, you are God’s representative in the earth. As you show His love and character to others, He’ll pour out His blessing upon you and use you in ways you never dreamed!

Heavenly Father, today I choose to receive Your mercy and forgiveness. Thank You for cleansing me of all unrighteousness. Thank You for making me new. I love You and bless Your Holy Name. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

I am just one beggar telling another beggar where I found food...

Daily Devotional
In Need Of A Savior

By Alan Riley
This week's topic: In Need Of A Savior

David Miller, a ministry friend of mine relates the story of the birth of his first child. When his son was born, David was sure that there had never been a child born to man and woman to compare to this special child. "But it wasn't long after we brought him home from the hospital," David relates, "that we realized that the chain of sin was still unbroken!"

We laughed when we heard David tell that story, but he makes an important point. His child was born with a sinful nature. You and I were, too. We all were. It is a legacy passed down from Adam. Each one of us at some point in our lives makes a conscious choice to disobey God and sin, but that is because we were born with a sinful nature, a bent toward sinning, if you will.

People sometimes get upset with you if you tell them they are a sinner. They think we are judging them, but in reality that is something that we have in common with them. The Apostle Paul said that he was the "chief of sinners" (1 Timothy 1:15). John reminded us that if we say we have not sinned we are a liar (1 John 1:8).

The late Rich Mullins (writer of "Awesome God" and "Sing Your Praise to the Lord") told the story of getting stranded at an inn while on a hike. To meet back up with his party would require a ten mile walk and he was already spent from the day's hike. He struck up a conversation with a man at the inn and in the course of the conversation, Mullins shared that he was a Christian musician. The man offered to give Mullins a ride to meet his party, but said there was something he needed to tell him first. "I am gay" the man told him. Rich chuckled and replied that he still needed a ride to the drop off point! As he took Rich to meet up with his hiking companions, the man was silent for most of the trip.

Finally he turned to Rich and asked, "Does God hate me?" Mullins wrote that the question--and the heart cry behind it--broke his heart. He turned to the man and said, "God loves you as much as He loves me! Yes, God hates the sin in your life, but no more than he hates the sin in my life." The man realized that in Rich Mullins he had found a friend, not a judge. That is how we need to relate to those around us, many of whom are struggling with sin. We aren't better than them, we're just forgiven. When I share Christ with others, I am just one beggar telling another beggar where I found food.

We tend to want to rank sin in order of severity, but God doesn't make such distinctions. It's true that in the Old Testament (Proverbs 6) there is a list of things God despises, but included on that list are lying and sowing discord among brothers. Ever lied before? (If your answer is no, read 1 John 1:8 again!) Sin is sin. It is all rebellion against Him. We are all in need of saving. We are all in need of a Savior.

That is what we celebrate this Christmas season. We need to look beyond all the hype and the materialism of the holiday and focus in on the baby in a manger in Bethlehem. The only child who ever chose to be born. The one who left the glory of heaven to save us from our sins.

He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him. He came to His own, and His own did not receive Him. But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name: who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God. And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1:10-14 (NKJV)

Scripture Of The Day: "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" - Romans 3:23

Friday, October 22, 2010

Love Love Love Love Crazy Love

Many times in life we all need a word from the Lord. We need to be encouraged, uplifted and reminded that our father God is the captain of the ship. Listen folks we all go through and we all face death in the midst of the ring sometimes. We all face ourselves many times and we all get down sometimes. What we need to remember is that seasons come and go. People come and go and that the only thing constant in life is change. We must get over things and occasions in our lives that want to steal our joy. We are found in Christ and called to love each other without condition or prejudice. My best encouragement to you today is to be in prayer for those around you because you never know when someone is going through the storm and is border line on giving up. We have to reevaluate why we are the called and the chosen children and this is what I have been doing lately. I will be the first to confess I have NO idea why Jesus saved me but I know that he wants to continue to love me and through that love to get the junk out of my life. But I also know that he doesn’t want me to EVER forget where I came from or the lessons in the midst of the storm because those lessons are given to me from God to help other people out. Here is the danger of the storm we can all get bitter or hateful and not realize that the reason God helped you and is continuing to help you is because he wants you to keep helping and loving on people. Don’t ever think you have arrived and don’t ever get comfortable in your blessings because then pride has a way of creeping its ugly head in. Listen I have not always done this and I am not going to be perfect in it but my new motto in life is “Love without Conditions” because you never know when you will need someone to love you. I am expecting miracles in this and I am going there because none of the drama is worth it. So if I have ever in my life offended you by words or deeds I am asking for 100% forgiveness and I am moving on because Love is the new motto. Life is too short to do anything else. So encourage yourself in the gospel of Jesus Christ and find someone in your life who needs some love and give it to them….. Love we better start practicing it now or where never going to get it right…
“This is how we know we are the chosen children of God and because we love God and our neighbor..”
1 John 3:10

Monday, September 13, 2010

...You Are All I Need...

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us." Romans 8:18

The beauty in this verse is it again reminds Christians of the eternal hope that we have. In spite of our MANY sins and disobedience to God even after He has rescued us that we have an everlasting great hope. Our days are numbered and sooner than later we will all go on the glory but while we struggle through this world let us hold fast to the heavenly hope that we have in Jesus Christ. Yes we all go through things and yes we all make mistakes but take courage beloved because God has a glorious reunion waiting for you in heaven. We you fall ask God to get you back up. When Satan attacks ask God to cover you. When life just happens ask God to give you guidance and remember that “Soon and Very Soon- We are going to see the King”.

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

This Hallowed Ground

Coach Boone: This is where they fought the battle of Gettysburg. Fifty thousand men died right here on this field, fighting the same fight that we are still fighting among ourselves today. This green field right here, painted red, bubblin' with the blood of young boys. Smoke and hot lead pouring right through their bodies. Listen to their souls, men. I killed my brother with malice in my heart. Hatred destroyed my family. You listen, and you take a lesson from the dead. If we don't come together right now on this hallowed ground, we too will be destroyed, just like they were. I don't care if you like each other of not, but you will respect each other. And maybe... I don't know, maybe we'll learn to play this game like men.

In the world we live in unconditional love has left our minds, attitudes and actions towards one another. People get lost on this journey and instead of remembering that you too where once lost and only by the grace of God you made it back safely you sit in condemnation and judge and hate your neighbor. Examine your intentions… do you want that person whole again or do you just want to be right? Do you really want that person to be restored or because of your own pride you want to continue to put your foot on the neck of the person so you can feel more righteous about yourself. I would like to think that death changes people and makes them need, rely and depend on each other more. But what I have come to see is that in living or dying we have a need to set up camps and have rules and standards that we don’t even fully live by ourselves and they based upon how where living and if you don’t fit all of those things and if you have a different opinion then you are kicked out of the camp and hate pursues you. There no room for people with mistakes in the past and present in your group. There is no room for different ideas and approaches and if you don’t fit the “type” then your now allowed. It seems really sad to me that friendships are destroyed because people cant forgive past and because people wont allow differences. It seems sad to me that even the message of the dead doesn’t awaken us to put down our swords of hate, wrath and anger and come together. If your trying to be right then you will always isolate yourself, others will leave and you will find yourself alone, miserable and “Right”… But if you want to do the right thing then you can just love, forgive, move on and come together. Relationships aren’t perfect because love isn’t perfect, but love is just love. So when will stop arguing about who started the fire and just put it out. When we focus on the solutions then we have no time to fight over the problems. When we focus on the heart and soul of people instead of what we don’t like about them or their mistakes and past then we have no time to judge them or be mad at them. Lets take all this energy that it has taken us to get to this mess and lets focus on just loving each other because if we don’t come together now, then I am afraid we might just loose another person to all this chaos.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Here we go!!!

Well school has started and I am taking my classes online and it is WONDERFUL I have had a lot of time to relax and chill out. I am finally getting my teeth fixed after all this time, the doctor says I should feel better after my teeth are done, who knew that teeth were so important to the physical. I finished my ministry at NGBC it was an amazing time and we had a lot of fun and did a lot to get people focused on the gospel but my time was up; the relationships I have with many people will never end but it was time for my ministry to end there. I learned a lot about myself and I have fallen more in love with my self and I think that the things I thought before are still true and the lessons that I have learned from Pastor Timothy and Andy Vance are still true in helping lay the foundation of my ministry and help to guide me when I see certain things. Pray and Stand on principle. I am excited to see where God is leading me next. Remember to encourage yourself and know that life has seasons and in all the seasons of life know that they come to teach you something. Be blessed and walk in it….

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

John The Baptist...

As I sit here this morning and have my personal devotion I am reading Matthew chapter 3 and I am looking at the passion of John the Baptist. John the Baptist is preaching in the wilderness “repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand”. His circumstances are not restricting him from preaching the message of heavens hope: Jesus Christ; just because he is in the wilderness does not mean that he is going to stop doing what he has been called to do. The same should apply to us as Christians if we sit around and wait for the “perfect” circumstances in order to preach the gospel we will never do it. Its about Johns passion not his circumstances.
This chapter also tells us that john wore a garment of camel’s hair and a leather belt around his waist and his food was locusts and wild honey. Not the most rewarding of all jobs but john didn’t look at what he ate or had to wear he looked at the mission and his real undeniable belief in what he was preaching about. I have a friend and his father has millions and yet my friend refuses to take any money from his dad. Him and his father have a great relationship but his father is not a Christian so my friend says to me that maybe my message will be more powerful to my dad because I am struggling and yet I am not asking for anything or taking anything when he offers it. Its not about the stuff he tells me, its only about our relationship. I want my dad to know that I love him not for what he can do for me but simply because of whom he is. I wonder if that is how it is for most Christians. Do we serve God out of obligation or out of love. If God didn’t do another thing for us would we still be willing to be preach his message.
The life that John the Baptist lived was extremely humble but what he got from Jesus was the honor of baptizing the messiah. He walked with Jesus and he talked with Jesus and he reigns with Jesus in heaven. John was not seeking the earthly fulfillment's of this world but rather he was seeking a relationship with Jesus Christ. As you live your life here on earth what are you doing?

Monday, August 2, 2010

Empty Hands Raised High

Tonight we had an amazing night of worship and prayer. It was just a few of us but God moved and spoke through people and through the bible. My soul has been thirsty for the Spirit of God lately. I have been in need of him. Thinking about my past, my present and my future for the last few months has just wore me down. And tonight just like when he called me into the ministry God spoke to me. I have been scared to move into the unknown. I have been scared to get out of my comfort box and to move forward in my life. I have found myself continuing to put myself into comfortable situations and around people who think and act like me because I have been scared of the change and challenge. God has been trying to awake my soul for some time now and through a series of events this year beginning with the death of my great grandmother Jesus has been pulling on my heart to go to a different direction in ministry and in my personal life but I have been fighting it because I am scared of the work it will take and I am scared of the unknown. But tonight God unexpectedly spoke loud and clear and now is the time for me to move on in many areas of my life. He wants all of me and he wants to show me new things. Life is short and he is trying to get me to places in my soul and spirit that I cannot do by living in mediocrity. Taking me to new places will take me away from many people that I love and care about but I have to trust God to take care of them just like he has always done and now I need to trust him to take care of me as I take new steps in my Christian journey. I don’t know what the future holds but I know who holds the future. My prayer has been God please bring me direction and peace and tonight he did. And the doors that he wants to shut and open he made clear tonight what I need to do. Growing is painful. Become more than what you are right now is painful. Leaving people behind and going to other places is painful but its apart of the growing process. So tonight I stopped fighting with God. I let go of my mistakes, my pain and anxiety. I accepted his love and forgiveness and truth. And surrendered to his plan for me in the next phase of my life. I am scared so please pray for me. But I am hopeful and confident in Jesus Christ. That’s all I know is him so now I will trust and obey.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

My Boy Lincoln... RIP

I woke up this morning and they told me you were dead and everything began to break down in my head. My soul cried. My emotions broke. My body was paralyzed. All I could do to contain myself was ask God let you know that I loved you. I wish I had told you more. I wish I had reached out more. I wish I had knew more. Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you come to me? I know you didn’t mean for this to happen. I know its not your fault. You were trying to connect the dots in life and it didn’t work out the way you thought it would. Its ok. No ones mad at you. We all love you and were just missing the hell out of you right now. We promise to take care of your mom and sisters. I will be praying for them everyday. I promise to pray for your friends and if there is away for you to hear me or come and see me every now and then please don’t ever hesitate to come visit me in my dreams. I remember the first real encounter I had with you. Me, Steve and Scot took a group of you to church camp. I had in my group: Lincoln, Joey, Jesse, and Joey V. what a week. Remember the Gold Bond powder in my bed- every time I think of that I still want to beat you kids up LOL. From that trip until the day I die I will always love you and pray for your soul. I will never forget you and I know Lincoln that in your last moments that was not you. I don’t blame you for that. Please take your soul and be with Jesus now. Rest & enjoy the love of God. Its all over now. All the worry and stress and drama that you had to put up with is over now. You don’t have to keep trying to prove yourself to anyone. You are in God’s hands now. At least now I don’t have to worry about you so much. At least now I don’t have to wonder what your doing and how your doing. Now I know that you are with Jesus. I wish I had been there for you more. I wish that you didn’t have to feel the way you did before you went. I wish that I could tell you one more time that I love you. I know that you knew I loved you. We will all miss you sooooooooo much kid. Please Lincoln go and rest in the arms of God. Watch over us. Be our spark of hope. I love you kid.

Sunday, June 20, 2010


For your example we say thanks for your unconditional love we give you praise and for the way you always forgive we acknowledge that you are creator and sustainer of the universe. To our heavenly father that loves deeply and forgives fully we surrender our lives to you as an appreciation for all that you do and have done.
To all the dads and granddads out there who make the world a better place. For sticking with it when it would have been easier to leave. For your endurance and strength for your patience and love. For being a role model and teaching us the right way to go. For all the elders we want to thank you on this father day.
Since I have been sick and in bed I have had a lot of time to think about my life and I have realized that a lot of the emotional damage that happens to people is because people allow it to happen to them. By your actions and responses to things you teach people how to treat you. If you allow for someone to come into your life regardless of the type of relationship you have to set the boundaries for how they will treat you and the only damage that can be done is if you allow it to be done. Again in this season of my life I am really grateful that I can now look and examine personalities and types of people before I let them into my life because this now equips me for the future so I will no next time not to let negative people come into my life. As I am getting ready to turn 25 years old I have been blessed to have some good relationships with people and some horrible ones and to all the good folks out there thank you and to all the ones who intentionally came in to set my life on fire: I survived and came out like goal.
I think we all need to ask ourselves everyday what are we doing? And why are we here? Are we wasting our lives in projects and in people that will never get better or in situations that will never change. Have we come to the cemetery and are trying to raise the dead bones. Have we come to a crossroads in our lives and need to rethink why we are here and what we are doing? Life is like living on a ocean. The waves come and move you up and down and the winds of the sea are constantly blowing in different directions… My question is have we adjusted are sails and are moving in the right direction?


Monday, June 14, 2010

Keep Your Head Up

I think if people are going to come into your life and lie to your soul, cheat on your emotions and abuse your identify and self worth then they should just let you know from the beginning that they had no intentions of being honest with you and that they were never looking for a relationship that was going to be self sacrificing rather they where looking to fulfill some kind of sick self fulfilling selfish fantasy and that they only wanted to get their cheap thrills off and shallow self serving ambitions. A relationship requires commitment and anytime you are thinking, pursuing or considering something with another person you need to realize that it’s not a game. Rather it is someone else’s emotions that you are taking in to consideration. I find it disgusting when people say “it was just a fling” or “it wasn’t that serious”’ who are you to come into anyone’s life and make that judgment or decision. You weren’t saying that in private conversations and personal moments. One on one you had a nickname for me and we even sang our favorite song. One on one you liked it when I held you hand and told me I might be the one. One on one you showed up and said kind words to me. And now you just walk out live your shallow self seeking happiness fleeting non courageous lifestyle. In front of the world you may appear like you have it all together. But I know you. I know that inside you are miserable, shallow, not happy and carnal. As angry as I am at you for putting on mask with me and for dealing with my heart like a game of poker I am so glad that you are gone. Because I know that your life is build on sand and eventually everything will crumble.
To all the broken hearted out there… dust your shoulders off and keep your head up. Don’t worry about that person who once was & be happy that there gone before you put a ring on it because now you know that you don’t have to spend the rest of your life dealing or associating with a back stabbing selfish cheating liar. Count your blessings and realize that God is good and he will provide for those who love him and this lesson was sent to teach you what you DON’T want.... you don’t want carnal shallow people who are only concerned with style and not substance. You don’t want a person who loves religion and not a relationship with God. You don’t want someone who is more into themselves then they are into helping people. You don’t want someone who wants a fantasy and not a real engaging life changing commitment to grow with you.
This last Sunday my “grandparents” Ernie And Johnnie Hamilton Celebrated 51 yrs of hard work, loving commitment, self sacrificing and beauty of the gospel type of marriage. This last January My grandparents Bob & Viv celebrated 50 yrs of commitment and gospel edifying marriage… this is the type of marriage I will have and I thank God that he brought me you into my life because now I know what I don’t want….
Thank all your haters and heart breakers because they only make you stronger

“You aren't going to be his 1st, his last, or his only... he’s loved before; he will love again. But if he loves you now, what else matters? He’s not perfect - you're not either. If he can make you laugh and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold on to him and give him the most you can. He’s not going to be thinking about you every moment of the day, but he will give you a part of him that he knows YOU can break - his heart. So don't hurt him, don't change him, don't analyze and don't expect ...more than he can give. Smile when he makes you happy, let him know when he makes you mad and miss him when he’s not there. Because perfect men don't exist, but there's always ONE man that is perfect for you."

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

In The News


I know its been a little while since I have expressed my political views on different things and my opinions about what has been going on in the news so here we go…
Today is people in different states will be voting in primary races. Some of the hot contested races are in Arkansas between two democrats. The incumbent Blanch Lincoln in fighting for her political life because far left liberal groups are disappointed in her “centrist” ways. I would encourage ever person in Arkansas to go out and vote for Senator Lincoln because of this. When interests groups from the same political background come after you because you are NOT following everything they say and because you choose to work with the other side then you know that you are doing the right thing. Politics cannot be one sided if you’re going to make an impact and help all people. You have to give and take and Sen. Lincoln does this so I hope that she wins against these liberal characters who wont do anything but bankrupt the state of Arkansas.
Rand Paul has brought up a lot of controversy in Kentucky. Cleary as someone who is also a libertarian in many ways I like him because I think that too much government in the justice system and in our college education system has caused for many innocent people to be put in jail and also caused for the price of education in college to rise making it nearly impossible for people to get out of debt after college. I think that we have too many federal agencies putting their business in the homes of people and business. If I spank my child then that is abuse and I could go to jail. If I want to go to a restaurant and eat my food and smoke a cigarette then I am infringing on the rights of others. If I am sick in my body and I want to have a medical doctor assist in ending my life I can’t. These government agencies are doing more harm than good. I don’t have a problem with government. We need it to set rules, regulations and to keep laws. But when laws cripple the innocent, then we have a problem. And what people don’t understand is it is not the financial hurt that kills people it is the emotional pain that destroys a person. Emotional pain can leave a person damaged good and ineffective for service.
The Oil spill in the gulf is a nightmare. I have always been against the notion “drill baby drill” because it is irresponsible to drill in places where tourist come to and also where people make their daily living from. There are so many others ways that we can get away from our dependence on foreign oil without drilling. We saw this twenty something years ago in Alaska where the same thing happened. Just like I was outraged over the criticism of George Bush when it came to Hurricane Katrina I am just as outraged when it comes to the criticism of Obama. What do people want him to do. Go get some tape get in a wet suit and jump in the ocean and plug it up himself. This notion that he can do anymore than he is doing is outrageous. The notion that he is not showing more “emotion & anger” is crazy as well. He is constantly coming up with plans and in truth BP should be the ones to fix it. The reality is we should have never been drilling that far down and in the area of the gulf. We all need to stop pointing fingers and find a way to plug the hole and start the clean up now. BP should pay for EVERYTHING. And we should outlaw these practices of unsafe drilling.
Jobs aren’t coming back. Small businesses aren’t hiring. People with college degrees are having a VERY difficult time getting jobs and finding employment. I don’t know what the solution is but I know that if Obama does not figure this out soon. Health care, the oil spill and the wars won’t be his problem. It will be jobs. He has to cut taxes for small business and give them incentives to hire because we, the hard working American people who want to work are having a HORRIBLE time finding jobs.

In The Morning

The last few weeks have been crazy… things would seem so much easier if my heart would listen to my mind… I need to make a lot of changes. I need to remind myself of my core values and convictions… Who I am and what I believe and from that I act not acting on anger or disappointment or even the unknown but on the fact that this is what I know for sure.. My convictions the things that cannot be changed or swayed… in acting in anger and disappointment I have let myself down… Here is the thing just because someone else shows bad character and does not act responsible or loving does not mean that you need to react or lower yourself to those people’s standards… I was thinking about this the other day and I found myself needing to reexamine things… Why is it that when people lie, cheat, act ungodly and do intentional horrible things to us… we have to get mad at them first & hate them in order to forgive them? Why is it that we have to be mad in order to forgive? I have realized that when someone has betrayed me intentionally I have to hate them before I can let go… this I pray will change because I refuse to any longer let someone who has acted horribly and ugly dictate me.
In the grand scheme of things life is not so bad… actually a relief that things happened and are moving forward because what it teaches you is that everyone can’t be trusted and even people who “appear” to be on the same page as you and say that they want the same things as you aren’t really that way. When someone shows you who they are believe them the 1st time… don’t sit around and hope that they will change or expect better from them life is too short to have your heart, time and money wasted on people who don’t love you like you deserve. Whether it is a relationship, friendship or even blood family member refuse to have people steal your joy and determine how you should be. You can’t make others decisions so you shouldn’t let other people make yours. When someone, whoever that person is, walks out of your life… send them a thank you letter because they have now just released you into your greatest potential… don’t harbor hate, bitterness or anger… instead expect all good things from Christ and knowing him in is glory and suffering… what is transitional when it comes to all people, regardless of a person’s beliefs is this: we all stumble but we all must choose to be survivors.. when life gives you lemons count your blessings that at least you made it out alive and can see another day coming…. I have experienced this moment… intentionally hurt to the core… But now I will choose to forgive, move on and get stronger… For this lessons I will never forget and will always be blessed that God is Able to keep my Joy centered in him… Cry for a little bit… But remember the choose is yours don’t let anyone who sets out to do evil to you determine the kind of reaction you will have…

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Fight For Me O God

In the midst of walking in the rain I hear your voice that says be still and know that I am God. At the bottom of the glass I find my realization that you are more than what I ever could have wanted. In Christ I have placed my joy. Not my works or my reputation because all of these things are tainted and full of emptiness and pain that this life has handed me but rather my joy is in the hope that my savior rules and reigns. I will not let you win Satan. I will fight and pray for what is mine. God has promised and He is faithful so I will sit in silence and wait upon the Lord and pray “thy will be done”.
I have way to much to do and way to much to get done. I have learned my lesson never take this many grad courses in one semester. I am being eaten alive and tortured due to the failure of my own planning.
I long for heaven today. I long for that place I have been created for. I decided along time ago not to live for other people or what other people say I should be. Because I am black I should love Obama, I love him in the since I am proud of him, but he is not a leader that I look up to. I look to leaders like Colin Powell, Dr. King, and Dorothy Height… people who carved out their own paths and insisted on facts and fellowship. Because I am a Christian I should “act” a certain way or believe certain things about views…. Well I don’t. I am not a stereotype. Because I am black & young should I have a baby? Because I am a male should I sleep around? Don’t define me; don’t put me in a box. Freedom screams through my aching bones, because I refuse to categorize. I am a free man. I am free to think the way I choose and to feel the way I feel. To love the color of any woman I want and to vote for whomever I want to and to say No to whatever I feel and Yes to whatever I want to. I will not fit into your box and follow your rules. I am a free man and because of those who went before me who fought for my freedom I will cry out and march to the beat of my own drum. I will not let you define me.
Every now and then I fall apart, I don’t make sense, I get mad, I sleep all day. Every now in then I just don’t want to figure it out or desire to do it. I just want a break. Every now and then I choose to give up and every now and then I lock myself away and breath. I am not a slave and I will not be treated like one.
I am patiently waiting for you to join me in this journey. Pressure off. Figure yourself out. Pray. Seek God. Find closer. Know that I am waiting and praying. I am not asking you when and you don’t have to give me a date, just promise me that sometime soon you will make it here.
Granny its been five months and this will be the first Mothers Day without you. But I am happy that you are celebrating it with your mother because I know she passed when you where really young. For that I am happy for you. Give Grandmother Wille Mae a hug for me and tell her I am still tall but not so lanky any more. Tell my Grandma Margret that I miss her and I hope she enjoyed the other day when I stopped by to see her. I looked for your grave site, but I couldn’t find it but I know that you knew I was there; you’re the longest person I have ever loved so maybe that’s why its so hard to believe that your still not here…
My Goal in life is to love God because if I do that then everything else will be ok…..

"Fight for us, O God, that we not drift numb and blind and foolish into vain and empty excitements. Life is too short, too precious, too painful to waste on worldly bubbles that burst. Heaven is too great, hell is too horrible, eternity is too long that we should putter around on the porch of eternity."

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Here I am.....

In all of this I am finding myself at a lost for words and yet I am found, solid and comfortable. This is paradise; home is where the heart is and I have arrived timidly at home. Cautious, brave, encouraged and full of fear; yet I have arrived. Sitting at the table staring at you- gently tenderly holding my hand out waiting for you to come and sit with me; holding my breath but confident that you will come in the right time, your time, God’s time- you will come and sit with me.
School is going well. We have a few weeks left. I am trying to get all of my papers, projects and studying done. I need to focus a little more intensely. Give up some sleep to gain more, it will be worth it- so I shall buckle down. Fight on and encourage myself in your word. I am happy for my close friends many of them in KY are full of joy; in this moment my love is extended to Derek and Whit; they are indeed closer than a brother. Ashley is getting married on Friday. We have been together since six grade, and I have loved her like my sister and now to see her dreams come true I am indeed blessed to witness this; Jake I love you and am happy that God brought you and Ashley together.
Church is well; college ministry is hard- really hard- but watching God move has blessed me; I am blessed to still be allowed to serve in His kingdom. Great pastor, great church- Great God!!! Michael Richardson has become my brother. Never would I had of thought that I would meet such a faithful and loving servant of the Lord; he helped me to cross the bridge to success- eternally grateful I am indebted to him forever.
I still miss my granny gran everyday. She new that I loved her and I know she loved me. She is in heaven dancing with her father God in fields of grace. I miss her, but I am glad for her and I know that she is finally where she always told us she wanted to be.
Focus focus focus; concentrate; buckle down and move. Be the person I was born to be. Walk in the victory that God has called me to at the cross of Christ. These things need to be branded on my heart, mind and soul for the next few months. Count it all joy is what I need to shout to myself in the times when I don’t want to get out of bed. Take care of myself and move forward. Don’t slack, lack or complain. Move get up and move. Go to God in Christ Jesus and move in His Holy Spirit. These things I will say to myself.
My goal in life is to do one thing: Love God- because in this I will be alright….

Saturday, April 24, 2010


A New Kind of Hero

by Max Lucado

I am the good shepherd. I know my sheep as the Father knows me. ~ John 10:14–15

BEHOLD A HERO of the west: the cowboy.

A thousand head of cattle pass behind him. A thousand miles of trail lie before him. A thousand women would love to hold him. But none do. None will. He lives to drive cattle, and he drives cattle to live. He is honest in poker and quick with a gun. Hard riding. Slow talking. His best friend is his horse, and his strength is his grit.

He needs no one. He is a cowboy. The American hero.

Behold a hero in the Bible: the shepherd.

On the surface he appears similar to the cowboy. He, too, is rugged. He sleeps where the jackals howl and works where the wolves prowl. Never off duty. Always alert. Like the cowboy, he makes his roof the stars and the pasture his home.
But that is where the similarities end.

The shepherd loves his sheep. It’s not that the cowboy doesn’t appreciate the cow; it’s just that he doesn’t know the animal. He doesn’t even want to. Have you ever seen a picture of a cowboy caressing a cow? Have you ever seen a shepherd caring for a sheep? Why the difference?

Simple. The cowboy leads the cow to slaughter. The shepherd leads the sheep to be shorn. The cowboy wants the meat of the cow. The shepherd wants the wool of the sheep. And so they treat the animals differently.

The cowboy drives the cattle. The shepherd leads the sheep.

A herd has a dozen cowboys. A flock has one shepherd.

The cowboy wrestles, brands, herds, and ropes. The shepherd leads, guides, feeds, and anoints.

The cowboy knows the name of the trail hands. The shepherd knows the name of the sheep.

The cowboy whoops and hollers at the cows. The shepherd calls each sheep by name.

Aren’t we glad Christ didn’t call himself the Good Cowboy? But some do perceive God that way. A hard-faced, square-jawed ranch- hand from heaven who drives his church against its will to places it doesn’t want to go.

But that’s a wrong image. Jesus called himself the Good Shepherd. The Shepherd who knows his sheep by name and lays down his life for them. The Shepherd who protects, provides, and possesses his sheep. The Bible is replete with this picture of God.

Eighty percent of Jesus’ listeners made their living off of the land. Many were shepherds. They lived on the mesa with the sheep. No flock ever grazed without a shepherd, and no shepherd was ever off duty. When sheep wandered, the shepherd found them. When they fell, he carried them. When they were hurt, he healed them.

Sheep aren’t smart. They tend to wander into running creeks for water, then their wool grows heavy and they drown. They need a shepherd to lead them to “calm water” (Ps. 23:2). They have no natural defense—no claws, no horns, no fangs. They are helpless. Sheep need a shepherd with a “rod and … walking stick” (Ps. 23:4) to protect them. They have no sense of direction. They need someone to lead them “on paths that are right” (Ps. 23:3).

So do we. We, too, tend to be swept away by waters we should have avoided. We have no defense against the evil lion who prowls about seeking who he might devour. We, too, get lost. “We all have wandered away like sheep; each of us has gone his own way” (Isa. 53:6).

We don’t need a cowboy to herd us; we need a shepherd to care for us and to guide us.

He’s not a cowboy, and we aren’t cattle. He doesn’t brand us, and we’re not on the way to the market. He guides, feeds, and anoints. And Word has it that he won’t quit until we reach the homeland.

Monday, March 29, 2010

ObamaCare... Passed

Why Obama deserves his health care bill….
I haven’t commented on the health care bill because I wanted to go online and read it. I went online and read the republicans bill and I also red the democrat’s bill. In truth they both are crap and not health care bills but rather insurance company giveaways.
The thing is both sides are lying to us. Democrats and Republicans, we fundamentally don’t have a health care problem in America. We have the best hospitals, best doctors, best prescriptions, best nurses, and best workers in our health care field. The problem is not access, but cost. People can get access if they could afford it. Here is the thing 20 % of what is in Obama’s Bill will fix the entire problem. If he just:
1. Allowed states to compete across state lines with minimum and regulations/ guidelines
2. Allowed people with preexisting conditions to buy insurance
3. Some way the government can examine Tort Reform by each individual state through participation with the federal government and the attorney general
4. Allow college students to stay on their parents insurance until 27
5. Pay for Medicare, by cutting certain programs out that only help lobbyist and not senior citizens.
Which these things are in his bill already and this is just 20% of the bill Barak Obama would fix Health Insurance problems in America and he would go down as the greatest president who ever lived. If he just did these FIVE things and these things are not liberal or conservative, they are common sense, and then all of this other stuff would go away and liberals and conservatives would HAIL Obama.
Here is the problem with what we have seen, Politicians walking around with “Big Balls” and what I mean by that is you have half of your nation saying that they don’t want something and you go ahead and do it anyway. As an African American is bothers me when people compare the health care fight to the civil rights movement. Barack Obama is not fit to tie the shoes of Dr. King or Malcolm X. so to compare him and this fight to the greatest leaders of our time is outrageous. Racial issues are moral issues not social issues and the two don’t belong in the same boat.
Now when it comes to the tea party movement let me say this I am not a far right guy or far left guy so I don’t understand why these people are so filled with hate. I respect their right to gather, rally and to vote the way they want. But to spit on someone, call John Lewis a nigger, and to threaten democrat representatives is outrageous. It is outrageous when it happens to liberals or conservatives. I don’t have to agree with you and I don’t have to like you to have a conversation with you and to work with you. This is the beauty of America; we all have the right to have our opinions. And as someone who is in the middle who follows all types of people from Colin Powell, Condi Rice, Ron Paul, Hillary Clinton and other middle of the road type of people I think that negative fighting is not good for our country. Make your argument to the end, but never hit, we all learned this in 2nd grade.
The fact is we know that our country is on the end tail of being bankrupted and if you don’t like the policies of the president or any other person you have the right to write him express your views and to vote your conscience. This process had gotten nasty and that is because everyone is lying. Bill Clinton said the facts the other day “this bill wont fix everything and it might make some things worse for some people but we have to give it time to sink or swim”. The health care debate is over for the moment and Barack Obama and the liberals won; now the test will be to see if we have what we have been promised. And in my view no matter who was in charge, unless it was Ron Paul, Condi Rice or Colin Powell, then any bill would have been crap because we have lost the integrity of moral judgment in our political process.

Saturday, March 13, 2010


I am finding myself lost for words because I am finding myself falling in Love with Jesus Christ again. Listen I am not perfect by any means in my relationship with Jesus Christ each and every day is a fight and fight that I am getting the crap kicked out of me in but each day I am getting back in the ring and I know that as time goes on the blows will hurt less and the sting will not be so painful…
The crazy thing is that I am falling more in love with Jesus Christ and Satan is tempting me more and more… its so easy to sit and do what Satan wants… but the joy of knowing that I am being obedient to Christ gives me strength… I am more crabby, moody, people are giving me intentional trouble, school is a lot of work and the little things in my life seem to be making me crazy at every moment of the day, but I am going… everyday I am going… every minute I am going… Thank you Jesus….
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope…”
This is the scripture I am holding onto everyday/moment of my life… I need to BURN this in my soul and remember that my obedience to Christ will give me favor with God and that I will get to know Him better. My prayer is that the Lord would sustain me and give me new desires that are not of this world and that I would keep falling in Love with Jesus Christ… I pray that I would continue to pray and seek God and pray for my friends and family everyday and several times throughout the day… I just want to sit in prayer… that’s my goal to sit in prayer…. God please create in my a place to sit in you… Amen…

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Will You Come To The Christ?

I want us to stop and think about how blessed we are to have our salvation in Jesus Christ and to be completely forgiven of all our sins. This is not a claim that we make based on our works to try and earn salvation or what “we can do for God” but this is something that has been counted to us only by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. God saw this pleasing and satisfying to himself that God the Father would set up the execution of His only Son, Jesus Christ, as a sacrifice for the sins of those who would trust in his redemptive nature: this is amazing and all together humbling when we who have cursed God in our lifestyles and abandoned his truth realize that His sovereign hand has reached out to rescue us from hell.
The seductive allure of the counterfeit has confounded men throughout the ages when discussing sin and redemption in the church. The church has tried to appease itself by “working hard” for God, rather than been completely satisfied in the Grace and Mercy that it our only hope.

From the beginning of the early church this heresy has been an underlined shadow in our theological and practical ministries that is choking the life out of local pastors, parishioners and people who are pursuing truth. Paul writes the book of Colossians because this heresy is running rampant among the believers in Colosse and the attack that is being presented is undermining the identity and sufficiency of Jesus Christ alone for the believer. Paul sets the record straight by making the main idea about this letter to be: “knowing the truth about the power of the gospel (death and resurrection of Jesus Christ) and the person of Christ (the deity and divine) is the believers (those who have trusted in Jesus Christ) best protection against the deception that we need “more” than Jesus to satisfy our needs (spiritual, physical, mind, body, and soul).

Colossians 1:13-14 “He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.”

God’s grace and peace in a person’s life comes from knowing the power of the gospel. Money won’t do it, relationships with people won’t do it, degrees won’t do it and church won’t do it. The only thing that gives the soul any satisfaction is to know and experience God and all things in Him and Him alone. The reasons our churches are dying is because we have made works a claim of the gospel rather than Christ alone. Our justification before God was made whole the moment that Jesus Christ opened our eyes to see His truth and our sanctification was made whole the moment Jesus Christ called us to Himself in salvation and grace. We can never be loved by God anymore or any less at any point of our journey because we are not the determining factor in the relationship, Jesus Christ is.

God delivered us from the dominion of darkness and he is brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves. God has literally transferred us by moving us from one place to another. He has taken us from Satan’s dark realm and placed us into the bright and hope filled light of Jesus Christ and Savior and Lord.

God’s work of redeeming a lost people (you and me), for which believers should be joyful and content about is pictured further through redemption and forgiveness. Jesus Christ has bought us back and set us free from sin, death, hell and the grave. To forgive someone means to ‘send away and to cancel”. Through Jesus Christ death and resurrection God has canceled the debt of sin because God the Father knew that we could never repay it, so now we are laid before the grace of God and have been adopted into the family of God because of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. In other wards: smoking, cussing, drinking, divorce, pre-martial sex, liberalism, hypocrisy, homosexuality, adultery, being a bad parent or bad spouse, murder, rape, stealing, lying, legalism are all sins that Jesus Christ died for that can be forgiven by God and DON’T DISQUALIFY A PERSON TO RECEIVE THE LOVE AND MERCY OF JESUS CHRIST.

Listen I am not saying that these things bring honor to God, we all have our personal sins and struggles, but what I am saying is that you can struggle with these sins and ALL sins and still have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ because your salvation and redemption is NOT BASED ON YOU, but rather based on what Jesus Christ did by dying on the cross for our sins. It’s not about works or “how good” you are. It’s only about accepting the free gift of Love and a relationship with Jesus Christ.

Will You Come To The Christ?

Sunday, January 31, 2010

See ya Later Granny Gran

Its been a long first month to the year but God has been faithful. I lost my great grandmother on the 19th she was an amazing Christian lady, @ 92 she went to heaven. After she passed I was going through her Bible and looking at all the verses she had underlined and one that really stood out to me was in 1 Thessalonians when it talks about prayer. Praying was the center of her being because she knew that in prayer she connected to God and to be connected to God is the center of the soul in fellowship with Jesus Christ; that’s were she wanted to be. To my granny gran who l love even more and miss every second of the day, you will be missed and I love you and I am so happy that you are dancing with Jesus in fields of grace, you deserve it.

Massachusetts got a new senator, a republican to fill the seat of the now deceased liberal lion. It had nothing to do with a bad candidate; this had everything to do with the health care bill. People want health reform they just don’t want government take over reform. This was not about the president or even the candidate that won; this was only about health care. The republicans could have put a shoe as the candidate and they still would have won because people like their health care they just hate the cost.

The President made his first state of the union, no surprises from my perspective. Washington will continue to be Washington until the people throw all of the bums out and start over that’s my opinion. All should go; I support term limits.

I am looking forward to a new semester, a new change in ministry and all that goes with that. My New Years resolution is to love more people like my granny gran did.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Seasons Change

I’m turning 25 years old this year- wow is all I can say. I still remember being a kid in my first Muny play “We Pals” I think was the name of it. I remember sitting between my grandparents when my grandmother Margret went to heaven, wondering as a child where was heaven because I wanted to go there to0. I remember being 11 years old and God calling me to salvation and what that was like, not knowing what was going on, just feeling the pull of the Spirit to pursue God and go to the altar and ask Jesus into my heart. At 15 he called me into the ministry at a David Nassar conference in Tennessee and that was my 1st life changing moment. I remember my 1st kiss, my 1st cigarette, my first love, my first drink, the first time my heart was broken and all the 1st that go into someone’s live. I remember the 1st roommate- Derek Jones. I remember the moment when I first felt hopeless: it was then when I felt like God was an abstract being. My first presidential vote and so many other 1st that have shaped me into the person I am today; 1st church that I worked on staff, 1st college ext.
For me I like controlled atmospheres, I like to know where things are and to have a say in what is going on. It is not because my motives are wrong but rather I want to be structured in the way that things go; because…. Truthfully I am scared of the unknown; not scared of death because I know where I am going. But scared in a lot of ways of tomorrow because she holds her own future.
Today I realized that I can no longer be in control. I have helped to set certain things up, and now I must let them go. I think that I have had my rightful place and have been given a fair chance in the lives of people and in situations to say my point of view. Now comes the time where I step back. This is good. This is to the glory of the father, because now is the time for me to leave and to live. In my flesh I want things to stay the same forever, never changing, but in the way I have tried to lay them out. But even thinking of that I laid them out so they could go, now I must let them go. Am I going to cry- yes. Am I going to hurt- yes. But all of this will be pain of joy. This is what I have prayed for and this is what I have tried to help come to pass; now this is what must take place. I have been here before. But maybe because the roots are a little different is why it feels the way it does. I will glory in God for seeing His plan go forth. And I will now wait until the new mission comes along.
In this new season of my life I am going to step back and focus on school and ministry. I am going to try to develop better spiritual disciplines and allow the word of the Lord to soak into my everyday actions. I am going to breath a little easier, take care of myself a little more, and trust that God will hear my cry. I am not going to react. I am not going to be upset. I am going to live, because it’s about time. I have gathered myself and my emotions, asked for forgiveness from God and people who I have hurt and now I am going to focus on the next 25 years.

Political predictions for 2010 that will make news:
• Republicans will gain at least three Senate seats (Connecticut, Nevada, and Arkansas) and Hold on to Missouri since Kit Bond (But this is only if health care reform passes and conservatives actually come out to the polls in Missouri) is stepping down.
• Obama will get health care reform and a climate bill passed and he will get rid of don’t ask don’t tell in the military.