Monday, August 2, 2010
Empty Hands Raised High
Tonight we had an amazing night of worship and prayer. It was just a few of us but God moved and spoke through people and through the bible. My soul has been thirsty for the Spirit of God lately. I have been in need of him. Thinking about my past, my present and my future for the last few months has just wore me down. And tonight just like when he called me into the ministry God spoke to me. I have been scared to move into the unknown. I have been scared to get out of my comfort box and to move forward in my life. I have found myself continuing to put myself into comfortable situations and around people who think and act like me because I have been scared of the change and challenge. God has been trying to awake my soul for some time now and through a series of events this year beginning with the death of my great grandmother Jesus has been pulling on my heart to go to a different direction in ministry and in my personal life but I have been fighting it because I am scared of the work it will take and I am scared of the unknown. But tonight God unexpectedly spoke loud and clear and now is the time for me to move on in many areas of my life. He wants all of me and he wants to show me new things. Life is short and he is trying to get me to places in my soul and spirit that I cannot do by living in mediocrity. Taking me to new places will take me away from many people that I love and care about but I have to trust God to take care of them just like he has always done and now I need to trust him to take care of me as I take new steps in my Christian journey. I don’t know what the future holds but I know who holds the future. My prayer has been God please bring me direction and peace and tonight he did. And the doors that he wants to shut and open he made clear tonight what I need to do. Growing is painful. Become more than what you are right now is painful. Leaving people behind and going to other places is painful but its apart of the growing process. So tonight I stopped fighting with God. I let go of my mistakes, my pain and anxiety. I accepted his love and forgiveness and truth. And surrendered to his plan for me in the next phase of my life. I am scared so please pray for me. But I am hopeful and confident in Jesus Christ. That’s all I know is him so now I will trust and obey.