It's been a few weeks....

Its been several weeks since I graduated college and now I am about to take two more classes this summer- FUN- Not; during this time off this summer I am truly seeking God with more consistence, not perfection by any means, but with a hope and a desire that the next page of my life will be the right step.

I have a habit of overdoing my stay and an example would be after I graduated high school I was the only one in my class to stick around our church for five years after instead of making progress to bring more glory to God and advance our churches mission. I have a tendency to find a hill and stay on it, and I am making sure that the next chapter of my life will not be like that.

I want to move with God and grow with Him and bring glory to Him, because my focus is changing from it being “all about me and what I want” to forming a solid worldview on which I can live from. I have to be consistent and take time out of my day to commune in fellowship with Jesus to make sure that I am hearing Him and not just doing the right thing. I want to breath without fear, laugh freely and hope without doubt again. I know that I am taking baby steps towards these things again and forming a consistent biblical worldview in which I can live from with a free conscious, share with others knowing that it may give them some insight into there own pain and defend against critics without being disagreeable. I have several projects that I am going to start working on and I hope to get them completed by the summer. Remember this always:


"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Two Years Goes By Slow....

Two Years Later- I Still Love You
You still remember the morning don’t you? Chaotic, crazy, unknowing and miserable to say the least. We trusted God- the sovereign King and ruler of the universe together- but yet the fate of the world was uncertain at the time. So we prayed without ceasing, we hoped beyond anything we had and we sought heaven together for an explanation. Together we made a decision, well you made the best one for me because at the time I really needed the counsel of the godly and wisdom of friends and I didn’t know what to do because the darkness of pain filled my eyes and my soul had collapsed; without you I would have died on the spot; without your prayers I would have given God back His gift; without you believing in me, supporting me, and praying for me I would have died in that moment.

The day I left I was strong in face, broken in heart and empty in spirit. I said all the right words to you but in my closet I cursed God and wanted nothing more to do with Him. For you I still prayed for good but for myself I wanted nothing more than death because no longer where we sharing the joy of fellowship with one another. I missed and still miss you. I missed marriages, graduations, births, successes and the chance to pray with you again. We talked every now and then, some went away because life had changed, some call every now and then and others are still in my back pocket. But the whole time I must confess I went insane.

I hung up my moral character and beat God everyday with guilt, hurt and pain. “He had made a mistake”- I shouted this though my tears. I didn’t sleep, I didn’t cry, I was just still. For a year and half my soul stood in silence. I made changes, had joys and accomplished many things some would say on the outside, but after 5pm I became someone I wasn’t- because I couldn’t let go of that day when I had to say good bye to my crew. Its been two years now and things are better. I have learned that time doesn’t heal, only God can teach you how to manage. I have learned that old times and old memories don’t have to be put away, and that you can find joy through pain, progress and re- define your purpose and take the stones that where throne at you and make them into stepping stones.

I realized that people change and you can’t get mad at them because they do- life changes- and we must learn to adjust with life. You get one ride; so buckle up, open your eyes and brace yourself. Because each day take you down a different road and every path wont last and your destiny is not determined by you, or influenced by others- its all God. So listen to Him who is able to keep you until the PERFECT day of His Son. Listen to yourself and trust what you know to be true, even the best intentioned people can’t make tell you who you have been created to be, you know who your are, so don’t doubt it otherwise after tragedy strikes then you will only confuse yourself more.

In the end we had the best of times- I have never meet to this day a group of individuals who I still remember: the times we laughed all night long, Fought for weeks at a times, random trips to Florida, thinking that my roommate would be black because his name was Derek Jones, meeting- hating-loving Whit Hill- now Jones; Zac showing me the slave fences by his house and smoking cigs with his mom, me and Leah “gossiping in highschool”- LOL inside joke, Nick Crouse’s IT factor, Tina Crouse WHERE IS MY SUITCASE- LOL and meeting Joel “the Next Generation” Crouse (If you use that for your stage name give me the credit- LOL ) and I never got Tom Crouse’s book, Aaron Hale- why did I ever work at family Christian bookstore- LOL, taking becky to the ghetto, Andy and Lorie Vance- we still need to write that book, John, Allison, Kevin, Dave and the Dr. Almon class crew- those where the best times of our lives- lol!!! Pastor Megan and Jeremy- I miss you much!!! And there’s nothing like a good ole talking from a Alabama man name Sweet Tea- lol… Zac tell Corey to clean his room- lol… Taryn Walker- what a funny girl… GREG GIBSON MY MAIN MAN!!! Highview Baptist- 1 church 7 locations, Big Daddy Mohler- I still remember when I first went into there house- MAN THAT WAS AWESOME!!! And who came up with the name “Blank Check”-lol and Gage How did you get that small room and I always wanted to be on that hall with Buck AKA BUCIK and Dan Mac Daddy and meeting Lauren Duncan MOM- what a nice lady!!! Too many memories to count and remember we never said good bye family just see ya later….. and even though its been two years know that soon and very soon you will see the return…. Things may change but our love has stayed the same…


God Bless All of You and Remember Bobby Loves You and is still praying for you!!!

Your Bishop Bobby House III- Proberbs 3:5-7

The Seat of the Soul

The seat of the soul is filled with many aspects: religion, love, hurts, disappointments, achievements, goals and attitudes. We find ourselves searching for the fulfillment that only a relationship with God can give us. In happiness we rejoice, take pictures and savor the emotions that we felt in the moment. In pain we cry, try to explain and duel in the battle of the mind and the heart. To these things there are only a failed attempts due to our totally inability to consciously focus and understand all of who God is and His abilities. We are for a moment in the physical young, confused for a lifetime in our wisdom, and seeking without complete satisfaction because we have not been created for this fallen evil world; rather our hearts have been sowed together with the Fathers, only to have be separated by the fall of Adam.

How do we understand? How do we reconcile He is sovereign and we have free will? How do we fully trust what we cannot see? We are lead to duty and to battle in many circumstances and relationships in life and when it doesn’t work out we hang up our equipment. Do we let go of our imagination and settle for the simple? Do we look pass the disappointments and continue on? Do we take the stones that have been thrown at us and turn them into our stepping stones?

Only the wise keep oaths they have made. Only the persistent march on in spite of what seems to be a lost. We gather, we re-huddle, we pray, we fast and we hope and we walk by smart faith and not by sight, because we know who our general is and we have faith that He who has begin a good thing will complete it. The artist will always finish his work; the cook will give the recipe to her learners; the teacher will never give an assignment that cant be completed. So we too must remember that in His love He is more generous than man.

If He stirs the soul, He will give grace to the desire; if He has created than He wont leave you behind. So in our mission to answer the callings from: anger, pain, joy, happiness, disappointments and the seat of the soul- if He has given those things to us to experience surely he wont leave them unanswered.

The one thing that I am certain of in this life is that: whatever happens there is a reason behind it. And it may take years to figure it out but the thing about experience is that it gives you the lesson first then the answer. Be true to your calling and your creator. Be true to whom you are and in the process He will work out all the questions. Don’t pray for patience, pray for strength in longsuffering.

Be Blessed

Zacchaeus

1 Corinthians 7: 17 “ only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him and to which God has called him….”
I can only speak for me when it comes to this but in reading this maybe you will find some relatable truth. I use to live off of the advice of others. You would always here me say “so what do you think I should do…?” When it came to my pastors, friends and family I would always want to know what others thought was best for me and then I would do what they said whether or not I agreed with it. I was looking for approval, something that was missing because of an absent father. I was hoping that they would have “the answer” not realizing that they are fallen humans just like myself and still in search of their own patch as well. I wanted to: please, show loyalty, and do what was “expected”. All of this time I was doing this for people, and respectfully sometimes some of those people had good intentions, and I was doing it for the Divine God who had already assigned me a mission and called me to it. This entire time I was looking for myself. I was looking for what I was “suppose” to do. While all along the creator had been waiting for me to come put on and walk in what He had personally created for me. The love, approval, and need to be whole that I was “getting advice” for, was right there all along in the hands of Him, who lived and died for me. How did I come to realize this, how have I come to some unexplainable peace….. I came to Jesus. I wasn’t worried about who was looking. I cant worry any longer about what people will say about me and all the fires I have started and bridges I have burned….. I just had to come to Jesus. He loves me more than I love myself and that is what I have been looking for…. A Love that can’t fail, because I am damaged good…. He has an assignment for each of us and He has called us…. So let us put aside the advice of the fallen…. And Let us Come to Jesus…. He even wants all of us Zacchaeus’

Psalms 119:33-40

Have you ever meet one of those people that always refer to a movie when it comes to different situations in life? Whether it is the movie: dumb and dumber, Brave Heart, The Godfathers ext. Well I am one of those people… I like to call myself a story teller. Lately I must confess to you that I have been feeling like Ouiser Boudreaux from the movie, Steel Magnolias. I love the group of friends God has blessed me with, they are all good for me. I am in a good place with myself right now. But it seems that I cant get out of the “crabby” state. Honestly I am seeking to be a kinder and nicer person. I am really long to try an be nicer an try to get along with everyone, but it always seems like no matter what is going on I end up being a horrible person. I am truly blessed. And I am truly happy. So why am I so crabby? What else could I want? What else do I need? I have a pretty good life and yet I am envious, jealous and critical. Johnny Hunt, our SBC president, came and spoke in chapel today and to be honest I was bias when he came because of his position. It was great and God has been working on my heart these last few days, so the soil of my heart was moist and ready to receive the seed of the word. My Pastor was close friends with Rev Winters, the pastor that was killed in Illinois, and he sent me an email the other day and at the end of the email it says “Live everyday for the glory of God”. The reason that this touched me so much and yes my pastor has said this to me a million times, is because I knew that he meant it. I knew that he wanted me to live my life to glorify God everyday because no one knows the time or moment when it will be over and in glorifying God my mistakes will be less and my blessing will be more and my attitude can change because I am known to be so pessimistic. So when Pastor Hunt came and spoke today my heart was just pierced. He spoke from Psalms 119:33-40 and the one thing that he talked about that got to me was that the psalmist says that he wants the Lord to teach him the ways of His statues before he even knows the promise of God. This man submits to God before God even reveals the plan. We are not like that at all. We pray for God to reveal to us His plans only for us then to DECIDE wither or not we will make the commitment. That’s me totally. I want God to show me His plan for my life, because I want to decide or not if I will go. The fact is I want to go and make my own plans: go back to Louisville, go intern for the White House, Church planting in Canada, get married ext. but maybe God has not called me to ANY of this!!! I want to make my own plans and then ask God to bless them, instead of walking in the blessing of God that has already preordained for me. I pray for myself and I pray for you we will all get on God’s page and not seek for God to get on our page. Psalm 119:36 ‘Incline my heart to your testimonies and not to selfish gain”. After hearing this verse and this sermon I felt like a horrible person. I felt like Ouiser Boudreaux. I felt like the worst person in the world. I am blessed, and yet I act miserable and God has given me himself, good people around me, and I get to hear Him and know Him better. And he has chosen me to be saved, separated me for His ministry and Loved me in spite of how horrible and crabby I am. “God I want to follow you no matter what the journey holds”- let that be the prayer of my heart and let it be true!!

To Sum It All Up.....

I have to be honest I am still holding my breath and crossing my fingers until May 16, 2009 when I walk across the stage. You know me 3 months in my world is a long time and I cant allow anything to get in the way of me graduating from Midwestern Baptist Seminary. Everything here is really well and for the first time since I had to leave Louisville, I feel like I am suppose to be where God wants me. I have some hope again and that is a good thing. I don’t feel guilty anymore for loving my new friends, because for some reason after I was forced to leave I felt guilty for giving my attention and love to other people besides my Louisville family but now that I recognize change is constant, I am ok with this new plan. Make new friends keep the old, one is silver and the other is gold (my grandma taught me that). But for the most part things have worked themselves out. I am hoping to find a church or a non- profit job back in Ky where I belong or somewhere else- lol. Wherever God wants me is how I feel. The people here are great and things are turning out well remember this: There are two levers for moving men: interest and fear.” Make sure that the reason your moving is because of interest and not out of fear. I love you much and am thinking about you always J

Update

So school has started off to a good start. If everything goes well I will be walking in may and I will only have one math class to finish over the summer time and I will do that back home at a community college- anyone want to assist in my math class- lol. What I am learning so far about myself is that I really like being alone most of the time. In a world full of pressure and confusion we tend to lean towards being the center of attention and wanting “not to miss a moment”. But what really are we missing. I think that when we step away from the fray of life we learn to hear ourselves more clearly and we learn to hear God better. We began to develop a better sense of self and self worth and we like who we have been created to be. We push away from all influences and we began to create our destiny by becoming a better “us”. I am finding that good things come in stillness. I am finding that the “things” that I have always thought I wanted where not true. I want more than anything- MYSELF. And in the quiet of life I am loving this. My plan for now is when I am done to find a job back in Louisville and get back to The Jones, cabals, Kevin, Alex and the crew. That’s what I want and I hoping that will happen. But I can’t go back to them until I get back to me, the Bobby that they new and a newer and improved one. I love myself, God and life right now. I am learning that this life is not that hard, you just have to live in balance. Continue to pray for me and I will for you. I love you all always….